Brenda's Child
The Queen of
Self-Esteem!
Why I'm Brenda's Child...
Brenda Kay Swinton
February 8,1959 to September 4,1982
Brenda’s Child
I’m Brenda’s Child, inside and out.
See, she died when I was four,
but her memory lives on in me.
So much that at times I feel
I’m doomed to repeat her destiny.
It’s scary that she died at 23,
because that’s just a few years younger than me.
Breast Cancer was the culprit that took her away, you see.
But her memory lives on in me.
It’s more than just her physical features,
it’s what my grandmother told me when she said
I had "her ways."
Her love of art and how she moves.
Her desire
to just want to take care of others.
So much that at times
she ignored her own health.
My mother put everyone
she loved before herself.
And when I came of age
and was trying to discover me,
in my confusion,
I had to recall
her memory.
And now I have “Brenda’s Child” tattooed on me.
Because that’s me.
At times I’m hurt
that she’s not here to see
what I’ve become.
And I know she would have been
the best grandmother to my son.
But instead of concentrating
on what I lost,
I pay tribute to what I’ve gained.
Her blood in my veins,
her qualities
that show through in me,
her memory that will always be,
and all the things that make me…
Brenda’s Child
Time For Self Reflection
"Ya'll Black Women have attitudes!"
To hear this from you, hurts my soul through and through
I am a woman….do you know what that means?
That I’m wonderfully imperfect, and full of complexity.
There are many layers to my femininity
And you can’t begin to love me,
until you try to understand me.
I am a Black woman, a reflection of you,
Which means this world has been cruel to me, too.
So next time, I give you an “attitude”
Know that it’s a form of self-defense.
My struggle gets hard,
and sometimes I just have to vent,
But it’s easier if I have you there to help me deal with it.
I am a woman, so I have my days,
Like bad hair days, moody days, fat days,
and “damn I look good” days.
I even have some days
where I wish… you’d just go away.
Other times I want you right here,
and you’re all I need;
we don’t have to say anything,
your presence alone… makes me happy.
I am a Black Woman,
Trained to hide my doubts and fears.
I pat my own back, wipe my own tears,
because I never let them see me cry.
I carry the weight of the world,
So that’s why
my hips are so wide.
I am a woman,
so sometimes I wear dresses and heels,
But when I have on sweats and sneakers,
I want you to notice me, still.
I love compliments,
And I like it when you hold the door,
Flowers and jewelry are nice,
But sentimental gifts mean more
I am a Black Woman,
so the roles I fill are endless.
I need you to step up,
and let me know I’m not in this…alone.
Let me know it’s okay to be vulnerable
Even when it’s hard, stick around
And eventually…
I’ll let my guard down.
I am a woman, and I deserve to be treated as such,
Not like property or an object of lust;
Loving me is a balance,
Not too little, not too much.
I am a Black woman, and loving me is tough,
It takes patience, but more importantly guts.
When I give you an attitude,
Remember, I am a part of,
and a reflection of you.
Therefore I love you more than anyone else
But in order to love me,
MY BROTHA,
You first have to love yourself.
