Brenda's Child

 I am so excited about my memoir! It has been a wonderful emotional journey going back to my teenage years reading my diary entries.  But it was all worth it because I've put together a compilation of life lessons for my little girls of color. The topics cover everything from alcohol experimentation,sex, and fighting, to first loves, friendships, and body image. My audience is anyone who is raising or working with little girls. And of course I give it to you the only way I know how...straight up!  

Each chapter begins with an actual diary entry written when I was between the ages of fourteen and sixteen, and it is completely unedited.

 I end each chapter with advice for parents, caregivers, teachers, and anyone who encounter our delicate little flowers.

I hope that you read this book, then pass it on to others and we keep it moving so we can change lives!

 The reviews are already in:

   "For so long parents/guardians of color avoided having the difficult

discussions around taboo topics of sex and drugs with their young girls.

Consequently our society has in turned labeled our young girls of color

based on teen pregnancy, criminal involvement, and substance use

statistics. This book gives anyone raising or working with young girls of

color a true insight and realistic examples of what they may be going

through, and what they need to hear from us…their caretakers.”

-Denise M. Hurst, MSW, LICSW, Springfield, MA School Committee Member

Hardcover is now available exclusively here:

 Here is an excerpt from the chapter entitled Girl Power:

     Growing up, there were some things I absolutely loved about being a girl, mainly Barbie’s, and baby  dolls. I slept with about thirteen different dolls on the end of my bed,  all well-dressed and groomed. My dolls each had names and feelings as far as I was concerned. If one fell off of the bed, it needed to be consoled. I could play with my black Barbie’s for hours; turning bookshelves into sky rise apartments and wash cloths into canopy beds.

            Then there was dance. From the first time I put on my first pair of tap shoes at 3, I loved to dance. I was fascinated by the glamour of sequins, tutu’s, tights, and of course, stage lights. My aunts would liven up my outfit by putting bright colored ribbons in my all black shoes, just so I could stand out. For every recital I got to have my hair pressed and curled in my grandmother’s kitchen, with the hot comb fresh off the stove. The final touch was shiny lip gloss, and a bit of glitter.

         Dressing up for me was a regular for me when I was a very young child, but I always had a little tomboy in me. This meant that at the end of the day, my tights had holes, my skirt’s split was completely split, and my shoes were scuffed. I just simply couldn’t resist a good game of kickball or a foot race. Since my best friend lived around the block, I would jump the fence to get to her house.

            There was no doubt in my mind that I could be beautiful and girly one minute, and strong and fearless the next. If She-Ra could do it, so couldn’t I. Let me refresh you about She-Ra. She was He-man’s twin sister and the “Princess of Power.” One moment she was gorgeous Princess Adora, but when she pulled out her sword, she became a heroine. This cartoon was my inspiration.

            By the time I was ten years old, the tomboy in me had fully emerged. I began to hang out with the boys on my street who were two years my senior. I w ould tag along with them wherever they went. I became competitive and challenged them to everything from relay races to wrestling holds. I took a clothesline, and got right back up; I could escape a sleeper hold with ease, and my headlock was lethal. I loved to wrestle so much, I was going to try out for the team my freshman year of high school… or so I thought.

            When my friend and I attempted to enter the gym, we were suddenly intercepted by the head coach. The words that came out of his mouth cut me as quickly and as deeply as a guillotine. He told us we had to be out of our minds if we thought he was going to let us on the team. Then he abruptly dismissed us and demanded we go back to class. I was hurt. At the time I was too young to understand that I was being discriminated against, nonetheless, the feelings were there. I had never felt so excluded. All of my life my father made me feel like I could do anything a boy could do, and maybe even better. Now this man just told me that wasn’t the case. Had I known better, I would have taken up my issue with the principal, or even a higher authority. Unfortunately, I had not yet developed into the tenacious warrior that I am today.

            Although the circumstances may vary, this type of thing still happens every day. A girl loses her sense of power because she is placed in a box by the expectations and rules of others. Often when it happens, it undermines a young girl’s confidence in her capabilities. All of a sudden, the world that is supposed to be her oyster snaps shut on her.

            Sometimes it’s one event, other times it’s a culmination of negative interactions that began to make us feel like we need to surrender our inner She-Ra and liken ourselves to Snow White or Cinderella.  

Copyright© 2010 Brenda's Child for Two-Two INK

  Here are some photos from the official release celebration:

(photography by Ed Cohen)